Does it have to mean something?

Soo,

I am probably overthinking this one a bit. Help me out here. I've become a little more reflective lately. This is a good thing (I think) as I have usually been the kind of person who doesn't notice much - really. There was a time in the notso distant past when I didn't realize my wife had cut and colored her hair for at least two days. I just knew she looked really great - I didn't think about how or why. So, yeah.... where was I? Back to overthinking things.

Speakiing of haircuts - I got a really bad one on Friday. I actually had to get scissors out and even things up around my ears when I got home. I then proceeded to get out my beard trimmer and accidently hacked a huge swath of fur out of my goatee! Yep. For those who know me - I have only shaved this thing twice in the last 12 1/2 years - for work both times. I started growing it while at Fuller Seminary the day my son Bryce was born (3/12/96). Not only do I feel naked without it - but now I'm reflecting on why I have worn it for so long. Woe is me! Now for the reflecting and possible overthinking part. Here goes...

• Why did I grow it in the first place? Am I hiding something? (except for a very pronounced set of jowls and a swell cleft in my chin?


• Do I grow it back, or go naked for awhile? (Actually, according to Beth - I think its coming back - real soon!)

The point of all of this - (Yes Virginia, there is a point here). I don't ever want to do something even as minor as growing facial hair, unless I am willing to do some self-examination in the process. Here's some of what I mean.:

• How important is style to me? I don't want to get caught up in being "stylish" or trendy for trendy's sake.


• Neither do I want to let myself go to the point where I don't care. I think both extremes are a bad testimony. I usually err on the side of letting myself go a bit.


• Also, the question of whether I am hiding something, or rather - hiding from something is a valid one. Do I somehow feel more comfortable with a little bit of fur between me and the rest of the world? Why?

Maybe this is a bit overanalytical (probably so), but I think it is healthy to do some self-examination once in awhile. So, I've been asking myself these questions - and pondering. Maybe there's something to it.....the goatee. Maybe I grew it as a statement of rebellion - or wanting to hide, or feeling the need for a barrier or cushion between myself and the rest of the cold, prickly world.

Or, maybe (most importantly), it could just be that my wife likes it. (She does!)