I never cease to be amazed at how naive I can be. Take for instance the fact that since I moved from California to central Illinois my eyes have been opened to several blatant instances of racism. Correct me if I'm wrong - but we live NORTH of the Mason-Dixon line - and this is in fact the 21'st century - not the 19th. Nevertheless, negative stereotypes abound - all around. (I made a rhyme!) Where was I?
Needless to say, I've heard a few 'NEW' racial slurs since I moved here. Without going into detail (NO I WILL NOT LIST ANY HERE) - I thought I'd heard them all by the time I had graduated from 6th grade. Apparently not!
By way of background, I grew up in California, in a low - to lower - to somewhat lowest of the low middle-class neighborhoods in a notso fashionable high-desert community in the less than desireable north-eastern corner of Los Angeles County. In gradeschool we didn't care about race - honestly. My best two friends in gradeschool were black, and Thai - and we were inseparable.
There were also families from Mexico, and Central America living on our street. We never - and I mean never, thought twice about who's house we were playing at, or what color they were, or even what langauage was being spoken.
The cool thing is, I grew up getting to sample authentic Thai cooking, real "soul food", homemade tamales and hand tossed tortillas, and a host of other great things. Sure, we knew we were different in some ways - but we all had more in common than anything else. We were kids playing together in the neighborhood.
"Well, good for you, Steve. You must be a wonderful person." That is not my point!
What amazes me, is how sheltered and naive I have been about the fact that there still are (apparently) soooooo many ignorant, racist people reproducing in this country.
Then again.... there are several towns out here with not more than two or three last names in the phonebook. Some new brides HONESTLY don't have to change their last name when they get married.
Though the above is NO exaggeration, let it be said, I don't wish to be guilty of the same thing for which I accuse those of the "redneck" persuasion. Let me just say, some of what I have heard and observed - in public, no less - definitely crosses the line, causes me much pain and grief and truly makes me sad. Just thought I'd share.
So, that being said, I'd prefer to have remained in my naive little world where kids just play together and don't care about the color of anyone's skin.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Soggy Father's Day Fun!
Father's day - and it's been raining off and on. Soooo, we decided to work on the basement - painting. As well, Darian and Austin painted a room upstairs. Not quite as fun as golf, but it feels good to get things done finally - and we're still doing something as father and sons.
Soon, we'll be feasting on an awesome pork roast!
I'll put up some pix when we get'r'dun!
Soon, we'll be feasting on an awesome pork roast!
I'll put up some pix when we get'r'dun!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Something is stirring....
O.K. - so here I am at Hardee's (Carl's Jr.'s cousin for those of you on the Left-coast). And though they are making some of those wonderful hand-scooped shakes in the background - that's not what is currently stirring.
Lemme 'splain.
I'm here having lunch with my trusty new Notebook computer open, and I just finished a homework assignment for one of my MBA classes. The other assignment I wanted to work on requires me to watch a Youtube video which their network won't allow me to access (probably wise on their part to restrict certain things in this VERY public location).
The point is - I feel something stirring within me, as if God is preparing me for new and exciting things. I still can't quite explain why I'm back in school - studying BUSINESS of all things. But, though I see through a glass, darkly, I believe things will get clearer as we get closer to our goal. As I've written before, in these posts and elsewhere, I still can't explain why we don't "belong" in vocational ministry somewhere - but I know that we just aren't supposed to be there right now. So what is a fellow with a B.A. in Biblial Languages supposed to do to feed his family? Should I stand on the corner wearing a sign that says, "Will parse Greek verbs for food" - ????? Nope.
The fact is, I work in an office setting. The stranger fact is, I'm good at it! How could that be - especially in light of the fact that I truly belive that I am called to the ministry? Well - for starters, I know that God has a plan for me, for us, for my family. He hasn't left us high and dry yet, and I know that He won't - despite my failures and my profound ability to make masses of things. The second thing is, I always have to remember to ask - what does "the ministry" look like? I love people - that's a topic for another day I s'pose. Ministry, of course doesn't involve working at a church or "christian" organization. However, I do feel ultimately called to that sort of thing - but perhaps in a different context. It's all quite fuzzy still. But I believe that in the near future, full-time vocational ministry will be the "exception" but not the rule- particularly in the U.S. This goes to my belief about the church in North America - get ready for some toe-stepping folks. Two things:
First, I really, truly believe that the church is in transition. Basically, I think we're really good at having meetings - but we're notso great at meeting people where they are "at" (bad grammar alert). I was excited to talk to a dear friend (and my former pastor) regarding their church's transition from the "traditional" model of having lots of meetings, to a small-group structure that seems to be taking root. Again - this obviates the point that by and large, the church is in transition - from having meetings, to reaching people where they live. Don't get me wrong - there's still a need for corporate worship - but by and large, the people aren't coming in droves just to attend one of our "meetings" - which are generally designed "by us, for us" - those of us who are already "In" so to speak.
Secondly, I firmly believe that churches who don't face the facts and do something to change in this regard are going to become irrelevant - soon, if they aren't already. (Ouch!) How can you say that, Steve? Well - look around! Are we reaching the next generation? Not only are they not even coming through the door, but what if our ultimate goal is to actually disciple people? In most cases (not all, but most) - our goal has been to somehow get them through the door, and down front mumbling "the prayer" at one of our "meetings." But, what if the goal is to help them become Jesus-like? Are we doing the job? Are we anywhere close? With little exception - in my opinion, nope.
But we do have some really great meetings,... don't we?
I'll probably regret posting this later.
Lemme 'splain.
I'm here having lunch with my trusty new Notebook computer open, and I just finished a homework assignment for one of my MBA classes. The other assignment I wanted to work on requires me to watch a Youtube video which their network won't allow me to access (probably wise on their part to restrict certain things in this VERY public location).
The point is - I feel something stirring within me, as if God is preparing me for new and exciting things. I still can't quite explain why I'm back in school - studying BUSINESS of all things. But, though I see through a glass, darkly, I believe things will get clearer as we get closer to our goal. As I've written before, in these posts and elsewhere, I still can't explain why we don't "belong" in vocational ministry somewhere - but I know that we just aren't supposed to be there right now. So what is a fellow with a B.A. in Biblial Languages supposed to do to feed his family? Should I stand on the corner wearing a sign that says, "Will parse Greek verbs for food" - ????? Nope.
The fact is, I work in an office setting. The stranger fact is, I'm good at it! How could that be - especially in light of the fact that I truly belive that I am called to the ministry? Well - for starters, I know that God has a plan for me, for us, for my family. He hasn't left us high and dry yet, and I know that He won't - despite my failures and my profound ability to make masses of things. The second thing is, I always have to remember to ask - what does "the ministry" look like? I love people - that's a topic for another day I s'pose. Ministry, of course doesn't involve working at a church or "christian" organization. However, I do feel ultimately called to that sort of thing - but perhaps in a different context. It's all quite fuzzy still. But I believe that in the near future, full-time vocational ministry will be the "exception" but not the rule- particularly in the U.S. This goes to my belief about the church in North America - get ready for some toe-stepping folks. Two things:
First, I really, truly believe that the church is in transition. Basically, I think we're really good at having meetings - but we're notso great at meeting people where they are "at" (bad grammar alert). I was excited to talk to a dear friend (and my former pastor) regarding their church's transition from the "traditional" model of having lots of meetings, to a small-group structure that seems to be taking root. Again - this obviates the point that by and large, the church is in transition - from having meetings, to reaching people where they live. Don't get me wrong - there's still a need for corporate worship - but by and large, the people aren't coming in droves just to attend one of our "meetings" - which are generally designed "by us, for us" - those of us who are already "In" so to speak.
Secondly, I firmly believe that churches who don't face the facts and do something to change in this regard are going to become irrelevant - soon, if they aren't already. (Ouch!) How can you say that, Steve? Well - look around! Are we reaching the next generation? Not only are they not even coming through the door, but what if our ultimate goal is to actually disciple people? In most cases (not all, but most) - our goal has been to somehow get them through the door, and down front mumbling "the prayer" at one of our "meetings." But, what if the goal is to help them become Jesus-like? Are we doing the job? Are we anywhere close? With little exception - in my opinion, nope.
But we do have some really great meetings,... don't we?
I'll probably regret posting this later.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Confessions of a first class procrastinator...
Soooooo,
I'm working on my Master's in Business Administration. It's a lot of work. So far so good. I've been getting solid A's so far. I've actually turned in papers that came back with perfect scores and no criticism - not because they weren't graded, but because there was nothing wrong with them. However, I have noticed something rather disturbing about myself, particularly this past few weeks. I can't seem to get motivated. I've always had a problem with proctrastination particularly when it comes to school and more specifically with homewok assignments. In many cases it is tied to lack of interest in the subject matter - this semester i'm doing marketing - which is actuallly quite cool, and I'm also studying Human resources planning and admin - yawn....
Me, a great student....
It's not for lack of engagement, however - sometimes my energy and interest just gets misplaced. I remember similar times while attending LIFE as a freshman back in L.A. I had a Western Civ.class and I got really excited when the instructor Chuck Middlebrook -( a really cool, but somewhat monotone guy), one day held up a book called "X-raying the Pharoahs" - I was hooked! I was so excited about my class that I immediately checked that book out from the library and that book led to another book, which led to another, and pretty soon I knew everything there was to know about mummies, and the latest and greatest finds in ancient Egyptian archaeology - I thought I was being a great student by showing soo much interest in the material!
...a great student of nothing important.....
Meanwhile, the rest of the Western Civ. class had moved on to...... well, to later periods in Western Civilization. And me....? Well,... I was left behnind, still covered in the dust of the ancient Pharoah's mummified remains. I didn't do so well that first term at LIFE.
The difference now, is that I am not pre-occupied with mummies - neither am I going to the library to check out additional books concernning the latest theories in Human Resources management - that is NOT likely to happen. However, I am a great deal more busy these days - and tired. I'm especially tired these past few weeks for some reason.
Lack of motivation? Or just tiredness...
The pattern that disturbs me is this. I don't seem to get motivated these days unless I have a pressing deadline. That bugs me. In some cases it is just the facts of life. Its not that the task is so unpleasant, or that there aren't rewards for doing well. The classes are quite challenging, and I have found that I am readily able to apply the material I am learning to my work environment - its just that I feel that I should have matured a bit as a student, since I am doing this voluntarily - and I am 40 years old - hence, I'm a little more tired than I was in my late teens and twenties, ....and thirties.........
Hypocrisy in action
We get on our kids about putting things off - chores, dishes, homework, etc... Am I really any better, or more grown up when I can't seem to do my bloody reading and response questions until the night before the deadline? Just food for thought.
Oops! Time to crack the books - I was going to do it earlier, but I thought I'd rather blog instead. Now, do you see my predicament?
I'm working on my Master's in Business Administration. It's a lot of work. So far so good. I've been getting solid A's so far. I've actually turned in papers that came back with perfect scores and no criticism - not because they weren't graded, but because there was nothing wrong with them. However, I have noticed something rather disturbing about myself, particularly this past few weeks. I can't seem to get motivated. I've always had a problem with proctrastination particularly when it comes to school and more specifically with homewok assignments. In many cases it is tied to lack of interest in the subject matter - this semester i'm doing marketing - which is actuallly quite cool, and I'm also studying Human resources planning and admin - yawn....
Me, a great student....
It's not for lack of engagement, however - sometimes my energy and interest just gets misplaced. I remember similar times while attending LIFE as a freshman back in L.A. I had a Western Civ.class and I got really excited when the instructor Chuck Middlebrook -( a really cool, but somewhat monotone guy), one day held up a book called "X-raying the Pharoahs" - I was hooked! I was so excited about my class that I immediately checked that book out from the library and that book led to another book, which led to another, and pretty soon I knew everything there was to know about mummies, and the latest and greatest finds in ancient Egyptian archaeology - I thought I was being a great student by showing soo much interest in the material!
...a great student of nothing important.....
Meanwhile, the rest of the Western Civ. class had moved on to...... well, to later periods in Western Civilization. And me....? Well,... I was left behnind, still covered in the dust of the ancient Pharoah's mummified remains. I didn't do so well that first term at LIFE.
The difference now, is that I am not pre-occupied with mummies - neither am I going to the library to check out additional books concernning the latest theories in Human Resources management - that is NOT likely to happen. However, I am a great deal more busy these days - and tired. I'm especially tired these past few weeks for some reason.
Lack of motivation? Or just tiredness...
The pattern that disturbs me is this. I don't seem to get motivated these days unless I have a pressing deadline. That bugs me. In some cases it is just the facts of life. Its not that the task is so unpleasant, or that there aren't rewards for doing well. The classes are quite challenging, and I have found that I am readily able to apply the material I am learning to my work environment - its just that I feel that I should have matured a bit as a student, since I am doing this voluntarily - and I am 40 years old - hence, I'm a little more tired than I was in my late teens and twenties, ....and thirties.........
Hypocrisy in action
We get on our kids about putting things off - chores, dishes, homework, etc... Am I really any better, or more grown up when I can't seem to do my bloody reading and response questions until the night before the deadline? Just food for thought.
Oops! Time to crack the books - I was going to do it earlier, but I thought I'd rather blog instead. Now, do you see my predicament?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Hot, Humid, Buggy, Monday Blues.....
I went outside this mornin'
'bout 6:30 a.m.
Next thing I know, I got skeeters and flies
Suckin' life outta my neck
It was hot and muggy and damp
As I got into my van
Them skeeters hadn't had their fill
Cause they chased me outta town
I got the Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo...
Hot, Humid, Buggy Monday Bluuuuueeeesssss!
Friday, June 12, 2009
It's half-full, seriously...
I was inspired the other night by my youngest son, Austin. We were sitting at the table and he asked me and Beth to help him remember some popular sayings, such as "sticks and stones..." So, we had a fun time brainstorming. He then began tweaking them and turning them on their heads - like, "April showers bring mud puddles..." and stuff like that - it was hilarious! He is apparently in the process of writing some sort of humorous story - I can't wait till it's finished.
The cool thing.....it's SUMMERTIME folx! Yep - he's writing a story, because he wants to. He came up with a creative idea on his own - and decided to write a story. He was really into it too - so much so that I had to be a wet blanket and make him go off to bed - he was still working on it late last night. Pretty cool stuff.
So, next time people talk about how messed up the next generation is, just remember that there are still some creative 10-year-olds out there who enjoy thinking creatively and have the discipline to challenge themselves even though they don't have to. If this is the case, then I'd venture to say the future is in good hands.
Just thought I'd share.
The cool thing.....it's SUMMERTIME folx! Yep - he's writing a story, because he wants to. He came up with a creative idea on his own - and decided to write a story. He was really into it too - so much so that I had to be a wet blanket and make him go off to bed - he was still working on it late last night. Pretty cool stuff.
So, next time people talk about how messed up the next generation is, just remember that there are still some creative 10-year-olds out there who enjoy thinking creatively and have the discipline to challenge themselves even though they don't have to. If this is the case, then I'd venture to say the future is in good hands.
Just thought I'd share.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Motivation...
Sooo,
I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying about what it takes to push through to the next level in life. I'm also asking the same question I did about a year ago here.
There's an old saying, it usually has to do with weight loss & training for tri-athlons, and stuff, but it holds true for many things: You will never change anything about yourself that you are comfortable with. So, it goes without saying, if I have resolved to live with myself as the kinda guy who says, "pass me the chips" rather than the guy who says, "o.k., just one more set...." then am I somehow doomed to a life of failure.
However, what if that isn't the person God has called me to be? He wants me to be the best I can be, in all things - as a worshipper, servant, husband, father, son, brother. I am called to be a Godly example in all things, at work, and with my body, posessions & money. So, looking at those things, I often come up short - or tipping the scale the wrong way, as it were.
Walking in Grace
As with any struggle, or sin, as a believer in Jesus - He already nailed it to the cross - but I have to recieve and walk in that grace by faith. That means, I can't do it on my own.
Here's what I am NOT saying - I am definitely NOT an advocate for a "name it and claim" it "prosperity" gospel - and that isn't what I'm talking about here. I just want victory o
ver these things I continually struggle with - namely that I settle for mediocrity in many areas of my life - such as my personal health (weight and appearance), my finances, attention to my family, and stewardship of our home (this is a biggie!).
The thing is, I'm always busy doing something - studying for school, doing stuff with the kids, and I am away from home from 6:30 am till 6pm most nights. So, I don't have very much time to waste - I just feel guilty that things are often left undone, and we always feel like we're playing catch-up.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying about what it takes to push through to the next level in life. I'm also asking the same question I did about a year ago here.
There's an old saying, it usually has to do with weight loss & training for tri-athlons, and stuff, but it holds true for many things: You will never change anything about yourself that you are comfortable with. So, it goes without saying, if I have resolved to live with myself as the kinda guy who says, "pass me the chips" rather than the guy who says, "o.k., just one more set...." then am I somehow doomed to a life of failure.
However, what if that isn't the person God has called me to be? He wants me to be the best I can be, in all things - as a worshipper, servant, husband, father, son, brother. I am called to be a Godly example in all things, at work, and with my body, posessions & money. So, looking at those things, I often come up short - or tipping the scale the wrong way, as it were.
Walking in Grace
As with any struggle, or sin, as a believer in Jesus - He already nailed it to the cross - but I have to recieve and walk in that grace by faith. That means, I can't do it on my own.
Here's what I am NOT saying - I am definitely NOT an advocate for a "name it and claim" it "prosperity" gospel - and that isn't what I'm talking about here. I just want victory o
ver these things I continually struggle with - namely that I settle for mediocrity in many areas of my life - such as my personal health (weight and appearance), my finances, attention to my family, and stewardship of our home (this is a biggie!).The thing is, I'm always busy doing something - studying for school, doing stuff with the kids, and I am away from home from 6:30 am till 6pm most nights. So, I don't have very much time to waste - I just feel guilty that things are often left undone, and we always feel like we're playing catch-up.
What it really amounts to, is that I'm TIRED! There also always seems to be something new that we are obliged to participate in that we somehow know nothing about - camp registrations, sports practices, piano recitals, school events, parties the kids have been invited to., blah, blah, blah........ we can't keep up. So what are we to do? My normal response is to scramble to try and please everyone, and then feel guilty and condemned for not having been on top of it all. So, when does this cross over into the rhealm of sin, and when is it just Steve O. having a bad couple of days? (weeks or months?).
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Cheap Shameless Plug....
So, I have joined a facebook group called All About Worship - which is actually pretty cool - they do podcasts of interviews with various worship leaders such as Tommy Walker, Darrell Evans, and a bunch of other cool people. They are partnering to give away a free scholarship to the:
National Worship Leaders Conference -
Soooooo, I am entering to win a free admission to the conference - by writing this blog and linking to their site!
At any rate - I really would LOVE to go - but alas, its about $450 - plus room and food. Soooooo - it would be really cool to win.
That aside - all of my readers should really check out All about worship - they have links to a lot of great resources on songwriting and other inspiring info about become better equipped in the gifting God has called us to as worshippers and leaders of others. Check it out!
- TTFN
National Worship Leaders Conference -
Soooooo, I am entering to win a free admission to the conference - by writing this blog and linking to their site!
At any rate - I really would LOVE to go - but alas, its about $450 - plus room and food. Soooooo - it would be really cool to win.
That aside - all of my readers should really check out All about worship - they have links to a lot of great resources on songwriting and other inspiring info about become better equipped in the gifting God has called us to as worshippers and leaders of others. Check it out!
- TTFN
Friday, June 5, 2009
Chillin' at home today...
Was supposed to go golfing, but I slept in - embarrassingly late. Which is funny, cause we weren't up late last night - I just have been a zombie lately.
As for what's happening lately, just lots of routine stuff. In just three weeks I'll be a third of the way through my MBA program. So far, so good - I averaged at 98% and a 96%+ in my two courses last term, and I'm holding mid-nineties in my coursework this time around - so, I guess I'm doing well. It's more work than you would think. I do find that I'm applying things in the workplace, and they've been supportive of my effort.
As for other things, I've taken up golf (when I'm not sleeping in - see above). It's Darian's fault. I swore I'd never golf again - back in the Spring of 94' when I sold my clubs at a Youth yard-sale. I was a terrible golfer back then, but since I've picked it up again, I'm actually doing better than I did when I thought I played O.K. back then. So,... who knows. The cool thing, is I think it will be a great opportunity to spend more time with my kids - Cameron likes to play now too, and I just picked up a few second-hand leftie clubs for Bryce - who has a pretty natural swing so far. If I can find a junior set somewhere - at a yard sale maybe, I'll pick some up for Austin. Who knows? Beth thinks the whole thing is silly - I agree, but we're having fun.
Things left undone.....
We're working on the basement again - two years and counting..................... Going to move Cameron down there...... to the dungeon, Bwa,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha........
Actually, it will be quite nice once it's finished - we're about 90% done already - just need to clean it up, tie up the electrical, prime and paint. But the problem is one of motivation. It's been collecting junk since we halted work last time. According to Cameron, he went down there a little while ago, looked at the basement - and it "looked back" at him, so he came back upstairs to find something else to do. Sigh.......
Other things left undone.....
I've got a couple of really great worship songs stuck in my craw....... but they're still stuck there. I need to spend some time unsticking them - or I'll choke on 'em or something. At any rate, I tend to feel guilty these days spending time on things other than housework, yard work or homework for school. I've gotta get over it. I feel guilty right now for blogging, cause I should be doing some chores right about now - or some homework....
Still more........ yep....
Speaking of things left undone - I've got everything I need to put my Tele' together - it's all done, just need to slap and solder it together - but alas, I feel guilty - (see above). I promise to post pictures when I get the chance.
Bye for now...
As for what's happening lately, just lots of routine stuff. In just three weeks I'll be a third of the way through my MBA program. So far, so good - I averaged at 98% and a 96%+ in my two courses last term, and I'm holding mid-nineties in my coursework this time around - so, I guess I'm doing well. It's more work than you would think. I do find that I'm applying things in the workplace, and they've been supportive of my effort.
As for other things, I've taken up golf (when I'm not sleeping in - see above). It's Darian's fault. I swore I'd never golf again - back in the Spring of 94' when I sold my clubs at a Youth yard-sale. I was a terrible golfer back then, but since I've picked it up again, I'm actually doing better than I did when I thought I played O.K. back then. So,... who knows. The cool thing, is I think it will be a great opportunity to spend more time with my kids - Cameron likes to play now too, and I just picked up a few second-hand leftie clubs for Bryce - who has a pretty natural swing so far. If I can find a junior set somewhere - at a yard sale maybe, I'll pick some up for Austin. Who knows? Beth thinks the whole thing is silly - I agree, but we're having fun.
Things left undone.....
We're working on the basement again - two years and counting..................... Going to move Cameron down there...... to the dungeon, Bwa,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha........
Actually, it will be quite nice once it's finished - we're about 90% done already - just need to clean it up, tie up the electrical, prime and paint. But the problem is one of motivation. It's been collecting junk since we halted work last time. According to Cameron, he went down there a little while ago, looked at the basement - and it "looked back" at him, so he came back upstairs to find something else to do. Sigh.......
Other things left undone.....
I've got a couple of really great worship songs stuck in my craw....... but they're still stuck there. I need to spend some time unsticking them - or I'll choke on 'em or something. At any rate, I tend to feel guilty these days spending time on things other than housework, yard work or homework for school. I've gotta get over it. I feel guilty right now for blogging, cause I should be doing some chores right about now - or some homework....
Still more........ yep....
Speaking of things left undone - I've got everything I need to put my Tele' together - it's all done, just need to slap and solder it together - but alas, I feel guilty - (see above). I promise to post pictures when I get the chance.
Bye for now...
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