Autopilot...

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying lately about my personal lack of fervor at times (read - lately).

For me, having grown up in church, going to a christian college, seminary, etc...... it is just too easy to "fake" it when I want to. I know all the right answers to give. I can even sound impressive if I choose. (Impressed yet?)

Don't get me wrong - I love the Lord. I am a follower of Jesus, I am very passionate about worship - about people diving in and enjoying a relationship with Him. But, I have to admit - sometimes (lately) it just feels dry. For me it has been too easy to just go through the motions. I am coming out of a short period like that right now. (Have you guessed) I feel like I have been on Auto-pilot so to speak rather than growing in the Lord. Worse yet, I have given place to a lot of cynicism and a very critical attitude that just stinks. I can really be a jerk sometimes.

But deep down, I so desparately want to be led by the spirit, to obey his every command. I want to passionately dig into His word, to fervently worship at His feet. I have let this apathy take over for far too long!

Sorry to dump on you... just had to put it out there!